What The Hell Are You Eating?

Grimaldi’s March 31, 2008

Filed under: Pizza — whatthehellareyoueating @ 8:53 pm
Tags: , ,

As everyone knows there are two schools of pizza. There is New York, long and floppy, normally ordered by the slice and Chicago which is thick crusted and deep dished. I am a New York man. New York style pizza is dependent on the right cheese to sauce ratio. The ingredients need to be fresh because you’re going to taste them. The Chicago pizza just needs the right crust because so much bullshit is going to be piled on that the crust must be able to support the weight.

Grimaldi’s serves New York style pizza. It is situated in the squat ugly building at the Southeast corner of 6th and Campbell. I’m not sure what style the architect was emulating but let’s just assume it is pseudo something. The interior looks exactly like you’d imagine a faux New York pizzeria would. Everything from the requisite red and white checked table cloths to the cheap framed photos of the Empire State building is there.


 Who are these people fooling?

Our hostess, looking like a low rent M.I.A. (joke courtesy of Erin), asked us if we wanted to sit in the cramped bar area or the cramped dining area. We went with the cramped dining area hoping to be able to eavesdrop on the table next to us. During my previous visit with Cal I overheard a kid at the next table ask his waiter for literally every Italian dish he could think of that was not included on the menu until his father told him to read the god damn menu and pick something out. There are really only three different things on the menu, pizza, calzones or salad. The salads all seemed large and uninspired, though that’s not why one would normally visit Grimaldi’s. You come for the pizza. While dining with Cal we both got salads and personal size pizzas (12 inch) along with a Peroni and then a Sunshine Wheat both on tap. Cal’s pizza, sausage and garlic, arrived about a fifteen minutes before mine and he was almost finished by the time it arrived. The pie I ordered was a white with fresh tomatoes. There was no explanation for the tardiness of my order but it tasted so nice I didn’t really give a shit, unless it was a (totally successful) ploy to get me to drink more beer. Despite the heaviness that the toppings suggested Cal’s pizza had a light feel and a very fine balance of flavors, not one stood out. My white pizza was a little heavy on garlic but I’m no vampire so no worries.

On my next visit, Erin and I split a tomato and garlic small (16 inch). Again it took over half an hour for the pizza to arrive. While we were waiting a couple of kids at a nearby table were given a couple of globs of pizza dough to play with. We were offered no such accommodation, not that we wanted to play with dough, it’s just nice to be asked. Our server was a nice kid who paid enough attention to us despite not delivering our food. After it finally arrived the manager came by our table and told us our bill would be half off. It was a nice touch and it made our bill only eleven dollars. I just wish he had been there during my previous visit because that one cost me eighty fucking dollars.

Despite the wait the pizza was crafted to perfection, the red sauce was just hinted at so not to overpower the delicate crust. The fresh mozzarella, from free range cows the menu says, held the pie together and really made it a taste experience. Get used to the phrase “taste experience.” I’m going to start using it liberally.

I give Grimaldi’s six shakers of parmesan cheese and two shakers of red pepper flakes. The only minuses are the long waits that may only apply to my orders and the lack luster décor.

 Here’s what people on the internet say:

“Other people say they dont like it becuase they’re not used to FRESH TOPPINGS prepared EVERYDAY!” – Anonymous Hoboken Patron

“What the heck is yuppie pizza anyway?” – Anonymous Hoboken Patron

” If you need spaghetti or something else, there’s other places in town for that”  Anonymous Tucson Patron

“A reach-in refrigerator was not cool enough and several potentially hazardous foods were stored above the required temperature….and Grimaldi’s gets a G-for Good.” – KVOA New Article.


One Response to “Grimaldi’s”

  1. Mittens Says:

    I came across this a couple months ago.


    There seems to be way more variety to the animal known as pizza than the two subspecies ‘New York’ and ‘Chicago’.

    Of course, you wouldn’t know it in Tucson.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s