What The Hell Are You Eating?

Bob Dobbs April 4, 2008

Filed under: Burgers — whatthehellareyoueating @ 4:35 am
Tags: , , ,

If you ask a lot of people in this town where to get a good burger they will tell you Fuddruckers.  These people are idiots.  I’m not yet willing to designate any burger Tucson’s best but I can tell you it sure as shit isn’t Fuddruckers.  Any burger that makes my stomach feel like a mother badger defending her nest from the terrible food I’ve just eaten so consistently has no business being in the talks for best burger in town.

 

A burger that does desrve consideration is served at Bob Dobbs at 6th and Tucson next to Rincon Market.  Bob Dobbs serves only two different burgers, the double Bob and the Connie, with cheese.  It was refreshing to see they didn’t offer a “Southwestern” (pepper jack cheese maybe a green chili) a “Western” (barbecue sauce and bacon) or a “California” (avocado).  A good burger should be able to stand alone with no condiments.  Only a inferior burger needs to be bolstered by condiments beyond catsup or mustard.  I had a Connie while Cal opted for the Bob.  Both were delicious.  The burgers were prepared to our specifications, medium for me and medium rare for Cal.  Most places in town can’t even prepare a steak to your specifications let alone a burger so Bob Dobbs scores huge points there.  The buns to were a plus, spongy enough to withstand the liberal amount of mustard I applied to the burger (and, as I later realized, my pants).  We also ordered cheese sticks and wings which came out first with our beer.  They had a decent selection on tap, not great but acceptable.  The wings were average, only finished because we were hungry, the cheese sticks were a big dissapointment, they weren’t hot.  I suspect they were finished first and sat while our wings were finished.  Nothing’s worse than a lukewarm cheese stick.

Bob Dobbs is a good neighborhood bar, with two comfortable patios on either side of the entrance.  Cal and I sat inside so we could watch the new Diamond Backs starter, Dan Haren, throw a few good innings.  The interior of Bob Dobbs is littered with graffitit on the tables and walls sporting some of the best (worst) lines bored Tusconans have to offer.  It was easy to spot the many regulars from their rapport with the staff.

The highlight of the meal was not the burgers.  It was another diner whom I dubbed Coked Up Frasier.  He was holding court at the bar, loudly in his shabby business suit and bad tie.  His balding pate was beaded with sweat and, at one point, seized the opportunity to crank the sound systems speakers as Dancing Queen from Abba spewed forth.  Later just after finishing our first beers we heard him yell, to the entire bar, “I BET SHE SUCKS DICK LIKE A VACCUUM CLEANER!!!”  No laughter, no applause, just awkward look aways from his companions and sideways glances from the rest of us.

 

I give Bob Dobbs eight drunk business men.  With their burgers alone, they could have challanged for a ten but the cold cheese sticks and merely average wings hold it back.  I tried to find some pictures of drunk businessmen but all I got were Japanese guys and one picture of Jeremy Piven.  Who knew Google was so racist?  All queries for Bob Dobbs images turned up photos of Lou Dobbs like this casual shot:

 

bob-dobbs.jpg

 

Anyway, here’s what they’re saying on the internet:

 

“Mind you I’m practically a vegetarian.  It’s just the kind of place where you feel compelled to have a burger and a beer.” – Sarah K.

 

“The beer selection is pretty average and the bartenders never seem to know how to make a ladies drink.” – Eric D.

 

“It is also a bar.” – Cindy J.

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8 Responses to “Bob Dobbs”

  1. Tristain Says:

    I like the layout/color scheme of this page. A Lot. If you review the best corndog and beer joint (as in I can get both in one place) in Tucson I promise I will tell all my friends about this blog.

  2. Alina Says:

    this review almost makes me wish i wasn’t vegan; good job Mr. Hart!

  3. Francis Says:

    I support any place that opens early on St. Patricks day to help Tucson’s declining drunk driving problem. This was also the bar I had my first legal drink in. Enjoy the burger, and colon cancer.

  4. Jennifer Says:

    Bob Dobbs may have had the best burgers in town 3 years ago, but due to management change and thus a staff change the burgers have become a joke. Last three times I’ve ordered them they have come out burnt and not “cooked to order” in any way. I wish they still had good burgers.

  5. Sarah Says:

    Fuddruckers has a picture of Elvis without his shirt on in the ladies’ room.

  6. Luke Says:

    Bob Dobbs is where I was when I played Tom Waits’ ‘Downtown Train’ on the jukebox, my (then) girlfriend said “Who is murdering Rod Stewart?” Obviously I can’t go back there.

  7. Mittens Says:

    When this blog gets a book deal and then a sequel book deal, the sequel title should be “Who is murdering Rod Stewart?”

    (Sorry to rob all the pain from your life, Luke, and encourage others to mine it for comedy gold.)

  8. Leigh Says:

    Bob Dobb’s gets my best-burger vote, but I must admit I’ve never eaten anything else there. The Bobs are so good, why would I stray?


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