If you ask a lot of people in this town where to get a good burger they will tell you Fuddruckers. These people are idiots. I’m not yet willing to designate any burger Tucson’s best but I can tell you it sure as shit isn’t Fuddruckers. Any burger that makes my stomach feel like a mother badger defending her nest from the terrible food I’ve just eaten so consistently has no business being in the talks for best burger in town.
A burger that does desrve consideration is served at Bob Dobbs at 6th and Tucson next to Rincon Market. Bob Dobbs serves only two different burgers, the double Bob and the Connie, with cheese. It was refreshing to see they didn’t offer a “Southwestern” (pepper jack cheese maybe a green chili) a “Western” (barbecue sauce and bacon) or a “California” (avocado). A good burger should be able to stand alone with no condiments. Only a inferior burger needs to be bolstered by condiments beyond catsup or mustard. I had a Connie while Cal opted for the Bob. Both were delicious. The burgers were prepared to our specifications, medium for me and medium rare for Cal. Most places in town can’t even prepare a steak to your specifications let alone a burger so Bob Dobbs scores huge points there. The buns to were a plus, spongy enough to withstand the liberal amount of mustard I applied to the burger (and, as I later realized, my pants). We also ordered cheese sticks and wings which came out first with our beer. They had a decent selection on tap, not great but acceptable. The wings were average, only finished because we were hungry, the cheese sticks were a big dissapointment, they weren’t hot. I suspect they were finished first and sat while our wings were finished. Nothing’s worse than a lukewarm cheese stick.
Bob Dobbs is a good neighborhood bar, with two comfortable patios on either side of the entrance. Cal and I sat inside so we could watch the new Diamond Backs starter, Dan Haren, throw a few good innings. The interior of Bob Dobbs is littered with graffitit on the tables and walls sporting some of the best (worst) lines bored Tusconans have to offer. It was easy to spot the many regulars from their rapport with the staff.
The highlight of the meal was not the burgers. It was another diner whom I dubbed Coked Up Frasier. He was holding court at the bar, loudly in his shabby business suit and bad tie. His balding pate was beaded with sweat and, at one point, seized the opportunity to crank the sound systems speakers as Dancing Queen from Abba spewed forth. Later just after finishing our first beers we heard him yell, to the entire bar, “I BET SHE SUCKS DICK LIKE A VACCUUM CLEANER!!!” No laughter, no applause, just awkward look aways from his companions and sideways glances from the rest of us.
I give Bob Dobbs eight drunk business men. With their burgers alone, they could have challanged for a ten but the cold cheese sticks and merely average wings hold it back. I tried to find some pictures of drunk businessmen but all I got were Japanese guys and one picture of Jeremy Piven. Who knew Google was so racist? All queries for Bob Dobbs images turned up photos of Lou Dobbs like this casual shot:
Anyway, here’s what they’re saying on the internet:
“Mind you I’m practically a vegetarian. It’s just the kind of place where you feel compelled to have a burger and a beer.” – Sarah K.
“The beer selection is pretty average and the bartenders never seem to know how to make a ladies drink.” – Eric D.
“It is also a bar.” – Cindy J.