What The Hell Are You Eating?

Kingfisher May 11, 2008

Filed under: Seafood — whatthehellareyoueating @ 11:15 pm
Tags: , ,

I figured out a valuable lesson. Should a hunger arise that will only be satiated by a decent piece of fish, get in your car and drive to god damn San Diego. Cal and I met this hunger head on at Kingfisher last Friday night. Kingfisher is another Tucson restaurant that thinks it’s more important than it really is. The decor is decidedly mid 90’s upscale which translates to late 2000’s ugly. Decor aside the wait staff was quite pleasant. Cal and I agreed that our waitress, Christine, was the best this blog has ever seen. She had memorized all of the specials and told them to us really fast like she was giving a school presentation but she still knew what she was talking about. We decided to go appetizer since neither of us had eaten. I went clam chowder and call went littleneck clams.

Cal’s clams (that’s right ladies) were tasty if a bit on the chewy side. My clam chowder had the consistency of a Manhattan but was unfortunately billed as a New England. It had decent flavor but the watered down
texture was a real minus. While working through our appetizers, I spied over Cal’s shoulder, two men exchanging a high five as their ribs were served to them. Some of you may be already aware of my stance on high fives. I’m anti-. They really should be reserved for special occasions, just like I love you’s or kidney punches. Definitely not something to share with your wife’s best friend’s husband over a plate of mediocre ribs at an overpriced seafood restaurant.

High fives lead to dead animals.

I ordered the halibut only to realize it came pine planked. What is with cooking stuff on a pine plank? You can’t tell me it tastes any different though I’m pretty sure it’s the reason that piece of fish cost me 27 dollars. It came served with some butternut squash that was pureed into a baby food like substance, I’d most accurately dub “garf.” My quinoa was toasted and would have been the best thing on my plate if it hadn’t been chock full of raw carrots. Cal had the soft shell crab which he’d been jonesing for since a marathon session of Deadliest Catch. He was pretty disappointed, especially with the whole wheat pasta, which never does seem to come out right. He had a hard time getting the meat out of the crabs as well.

Cal’s meal was redeemed by the cheesecake he ordered for dessert. It was light and creamy and was topped with a rich blueberry compote. It was one of the better bites of cheesecake I’ve ever had. But hey, too little too late for me, man.

I give Kingfisher six dumbass pine planks to stick their fish on. There is really no reason for any vegetarian/vegan, or anyone else I know, should go here.

Here’s what the nerds on the net think:

“just a couple croutons and almost no cheese or dressing.” – Michael F.

“The servers are so much more relaxed after 10pm” – Amanda B.

“Worst dinner of my life.” – Baby Seaweed U.


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