It’s surprisingly difficult to find a full body shot of the Cap’n on the internet. I’m not sure why, to all of us who spent a good deal of our time being parented by the television in the 1980’s he’s an iconic figure. Yet questions abound regarding his military service. He called himself a Cap’n though we might conclude that he only allowed himself to be called Cap’n, an important distinction. He was typically seen in the company of strange children whom may have been orphaned or kidnapped, we’re never told, or a Crunch Berry Beast (which, I shit you not, looks like a penis with syphilis) which doesn’t lend much credibility to which ever fighting force he supposedly played a major role in. His main adversary is a French pirate named Jean Le Foot, who may or may not have been a child molester, but definitely had a penchant for kid’s cereal. If his antagonist is a perverted French pirate, why does the Cap’n sound like a drunk at a New Hampshire dinner party? Questions abound friends, but we can’t deny the beauty and mystique of Cap’n Crunch as a logo.
I also found this while searching for images. It’s Seinfeld, or maybe Andre the Giant, in Crunchberries and a few other terrible cereals.