If you want to know what’s wrong with something, just ask my grandmother, Lulu. On all subjects, from girlfriends to hair cuts, no matter how proud you are of either, she’ll let you know. She’s such a critic. And her critiques are much funnier when they aren’t directed at you or someone you love.
Upon entering Montana Avenue I was confronted with a smell. It was possibly an air conditioner breaking down or maybe someone rubbed dog shit in my face when I wasn’t looking. Not a hot start. We sat down and our waitress came over to take our drink orders. She did so competently and with a smile but as she left Lulu said, “What’s wrong with her voice, I can’t stand it, it’s making my ears hurt.” I guess she did have kind of a high voice but I seriously wouldn’t have noticed it at all. But since Lulu pointed it out, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, until as she brought the check I was in complete concordance, “Oh, yeah, her voice sounds like cats fighting.”
I had a garden salad to start with dressing on the side. It had greens, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, cojita cheese and roasted corn. A pretty nice mix, I didn’t use the dressing. It was orange but I forget what it was. One thing to note about Montana Avenue is that they get their tomatoes from Wilcox. They are always the best part of any meal you eat there. Make sure you order something with tomatoes or just ask for some tomatoes, what are they going to say? I had a grilled chicken sandwich with Monterrey jack cheese. I didn’t eat the bun and had them replace the mayonnaise with mustard. They actually had a pretty nice mustard, a little dijon-y. I got the mixed vegetables instead of fries but they turned out to be potatoes, sun dried tomatoes and peas in some whole grain mustard. C’mon, that’s only one vegetable and peas are marginal at best.
Lulu had a turkey chop salad that was bigger than her purse. It was doused in some kind of vinaigrette but she couldn’t tell what kind. As far as I could tell, she at one eighth of it and needed a nap. She went on a pretty long tangent about how big salads are everywhere you go. I can’t disagree, salads are as big as Midwesterners at most places.
When we were almost finished Jim Click came in to watch Tiger Woods pull the US Open out of his small intestines. He looks almost exactly like he does in his commercials. I just wish his son had been there so I could have punched him in the stomach.
Some other things my grandmother hated this afternoon: where I live, my tattoo, Carl’s Jr., those Sonic commercials with two people riffing in a car, and peanut butter cookies.
Some things she admitted to liking: Larry McMurtry, that commercial with the guy and the huge umbrella, Jack’s neurologist (He’s in the hospital) Dr. Larry Aguilar, no snow birds and no students.
I love my grandma.
Montana Avenue is probably my favorite of The Fox Restaurants which doesn’t really say all that much but I give it 6.8 of the best tomatoes you can buy around here.
Montana Avenue is wildly popular on the Internet:
“The cost for 2 beers, 2 appetizers, 2 entrees and an Ice Tea…. $62.00 $62.00??? Am I reading this right? For 62.00 I’ll be coming back here on a weekly basis!” – Patrick O.
“Their meatloaf is more meaty than loafy (almost like a burger) and the tomato glaze was a little too intense for me” – Eiki I.
“Makes a great place for lunch prior to or after a COSTCO run.” – Jeff T.